Here, Dear Reader, behold the beginnings of a... hmmm. That bears a striking resemblance... turn that around...
Despite her mortification at inadvertently colorizing one of the cartoon *hahahaHAAha!* icons of her childhood, Our Heroine bravely surges forward. Brown was never her favorite *hahahaHAAha!* color anyway. *hahahaHAAha!* Gamely, she invokes the timeworn... er, timeTESTED theory that if a little purple is bad, then a lot of purple will be very good, indeed. *rat-a-tat-tat-tat-TAT hahahaHAAha!*
Raiding her treasured cross-stitch supplies *hahahaHAAha!* and choosing a new needle to accomodate, Our Heroine invokes Purpleness to cover all raggedy stitching lines. She covers each seam with loving care, invoking Purpleness *hahahaHAAha!* all the while.
What's this, then? This needle was not bent when it came from the package.
No, surely it was not so beautifully curved before.
It would seem, Dear Reader, that in her zeal *hahahaHAAha!* to invoke Purpleness, Our Heroine has aimed for The Great Liberace but has inadvertently attracted the attention of Uri Geller, who has announced his presence upon our Red Paisley Chicken Stage by bending Our Heroine's needle. Welcome, welcome Mr. Geller! We had no idea that you were a fan of The Great Liberace, Mr. Geller, or of Purpleness, or even of colorized cartoon icons! *hahahaHAAha!*
*Management wishes herein to note that Mr. Geller's attention and participation in the creation of this Purple Prose are certainly within the Realm of Probabilities. *hahahaHAAha!* How far within the Realm, we cannot say; and yet in all fairness to Mr. Geller, we must say they are certainly within the Realm. His fandom for the Great One Management cannot comment upon, lacking all knowledge of such situations.... yet again we are compelled by fairness to Mr. Geller to point out this also is certainly within the Realm of Probabilities. The Great Liberace was, after all, beloved by millions, and why should Mr. Geller be arbitrarily excluded from that number? * *hahahaHAAha!*
And so, Dear Reader, Our Heroine carries on, lovingly invoking Purpleness over every seam, thinking fondly *hahahaHAAha!* of both The Great Liberace and Mr. Geller *hahahaHAAha!* when her thoughts wander to Gryph, and what Gryph *hahahaHAAha!* would say about her happy circumstances.
Our Heroine hangs her head.
*hrumph* Our Heroine sighs.
Our Heroine writes.
Dear Mr. Geller,
I apologize for inadvertently impugning your reputation and implying that you might not be a fan, after all, of weirdly embroidered purple woodpeckers. Please forgive me. You may have the purple woodpecker if you like. Please let me know where to send it.
I hope you don't live in Switzerland. I don't know how to mail things to Switzerland and if I send the bird by air, his wings will fall off from the flapping.
Ever so VERY so sincerely yours,
I'm keeping the needle.